and Ukrainian girls are full of attention, they do not try to make
a professional career, they are undemanding and dream only to be good
Ah! A well-known myth
about a beautiful and undemanding Russian girl, whose dream is to
submit to the lovely western husband (understand here the desire to
be engaged in domestic life and children only) and who will sacrifice
herself for her husband and her family! Listening to some people the
impression is created, that she is almost a perfect girl!!
How can we speak about Russian
woman when there are 80 million of them? How do we compare a young girl
who is living in Moscow and spending 30% of her budget on her make up and the
woman deformed by the life of heavy work, pregnancy and abortions?
How is it possible to compare
girls who are not interested in politics, but dream to make good money and a
fifty year old woman, paralyzed by this double standard from communism?
However just as the painted
"nested dolls" (called matryoshka), covered with all
the same decoration, not looking at generations and social circles, the term
Russian woman " has some true facts behind it.
First of all it is necessary
to point out the difference between girls - inhabitants of the big cities as
Moscow, Kiev or Saint Petersburg where the mentality is rather close to Europeans
and girls - inhabitants of towns and villages, which are under a bigger influence
of Russian news media about the western life.
Lets look closer why Europeans
and Americans consider the Russian woman, so deeply devoted to family values:
Myth number one: Russian
or Ukranian woman are good, full of attention and undemanding.
According to the Russian and
Ukrainian mentality the woman should be married (by the way the exact translation
of the words to be married for the woman, from Russian and Ukrainian
language, is to be behind (for) her husband "), to give birth to
his children, to treat and to care about him.
The first care of the Russian
girl is to be a wife of someone, to be behind someone ". It is fair,
that she will search for the father figure in her future husband and it is fair,
that she thinks that she will not be able to overcome obstacles in her life
by herself only. So girls get married frequently very young, right after high
school. Very often her husband offends or deceives her. An average Russian man
needs a mistress to approve his prevailing position; it is an attribute of him.
A principle of boasting in front of his fellow workers and friends: a lot of
the Russian men say that they are happy in their marriage, love their wife and
children, but at the same time, recognize that they have a mistress, even a
few. But the wife maintains everything, because she is proud of the status of
being a spouse. Without the husband, the female position in society is considered
below the status of the married woman.
In conclusion, there is an image
of the Russian or Ukranian woman - she is good, full of attention, does not
try to make a professional career and undemanding: it is actually a fine misunderstanding,
because this situation for the woman is a compulsion but not a considered choice!!
But the mentality has changed
for a few last years in Russia and now the Russian woman finds out, that the
family is not concentrated on her husband only, but on her needs also: she works
as well as her husband, she brings up children, prepares food, keeps in order
an apartment, washes clothes etc... She understands finally her independence
and her strength: the Russian woman starts to protect her rights.
Some Ukrainian and Russian women
turn towards foreigners because they think, that foreign men will be more attentive
to them, that they will always listen to her opinion, that they will be more
responsible, and that they will not drink as much as Ukranian or Russian men.
According to their vision of the foreigners, that husband and wife are the partners,
and men are helping to bring up the children. A lot of Russian and Ukranian
women do not think, that the Ukrainian or Russian husband can understand these
sorts of problems or remain true.
Myth number two: Russian
girls do not try to make a professional career.
If Russian girls are not such
careerists as their western sisters and are often missing on the best positions
at work, it is only for the simple reason: in Russia it is rare, that the woman
occupies interesting posts, unfortunately, and very often they are victims of
discrimination, are poorly paid and almost never get the opportunity to have
a good career.
It is important to understand
that if your girlfriend held a high position at work in Russia she will be possibly
miss it after spending several months in your home.
Never have had any pleasures
of a fascinating and profitable professional career.
Russian girls are logically
less careerists, than western women: this choice however, is more a compulsion
imposed by a man's dominant society, than deep belief; each person adapts to
a society inside which he or she lives. Your future wife, in time, will probably
want to work in the United States and have a successful career.
Myth number three: Russian
women are dreaming to be good housewives.
For Russian woman to be just
a simple housewife it something like an unapproachable luxury: in their country
they would work and at the same time have to the homemaker, and in most cases
without help of electronic household devices such as a washing machine, a microwave
Clearly, being in the United
States it is natural for them to be engaged in the housework if they do not
Women of our agency have in
general a good educational level, real human qualities and are very dynamic:
this is logical because the desire to marry a foreign man and the native country
for this marriage is a long and difficult way, which needs a lot of qualities:
so they are ambitious and also the most of them are hoping to find work in the
United States and not just have a role as housewife.
In the end we
want to mention, that the majority of Russian girls, want to marry
the foreigner for love, recognition and respect, that they are ambitious
and have already shown some force of their character, they want equality.
They certainly will be precautionary and true spouses, but by no means
majority of Russian women want to leave their country and to marry
NO. The marriage
between Americans and women from Eastern Europe has become today a
theme frequently mentioned by radio, TV and magazines. According to
the media all women from Eastern Europe wish to leave their countries
and marry men from Western Europe or Northern America. It is absolutely
incorrect, because there are thousands of Russian ladies, wishing
to marry western men and also tens of millions that are happily married
to Russian and Ukranian men.
If a Russian woman is married
a Russian man she will not divorce him to marry a foreigner even if conditions
of her life are awful. According to statistics, only 0.5% of single or divorced
Russian women wish to marry a foreigner.
It is quite overwhelming that
the majority of Russian women even if they could find a husband, a lot of them
dont want to leave their country and would rather stay closer to their
family and friends.
The Russian ladies, who want
to leave their country, do not make these important decisions thoughtlessly,
and the ladies of our agency understand that you assume: they should leave their
family, friends and move to a country where they do not know anyone, except
for you, they will not hear their native language and will be completely dependent
on you in the beginning. But they are ready to sacrifice all this for the sake
of a man, whom will manage to win their heart! Please do not try to have an
illusion that you the brave knight in shining Armour are going to rescue these
ladies from infernal life! It is very far from reality. These ladies live sometimes
in difficult conditions from your economic point of view, but they are proud
women and they love their native country. They are brought up well and they
are clever. And they know, that thousands of men from all over the world are
attracted to them!
A character of Russian women is different from the character of the
YES. Life conditions
and the status of woman in Eastern Europe make their character on
some points different from women of Western Europe.
It is connected certainly with
Russian culture and a standard of living in the ex-USSR. Let's look at this
question point by point their differences and their origins. Do not forget however,
that each person is unique!!
1) In general Russian
women show much more patience and tolerance than the western women
because in Russia the main thing in the family is dependence and mutual
Really, Russian families are
built on this principle of dependence: Russians are very much attached to the
family members. >From this attachment they are obliged generally to their
life conditions: the majority of Russian families have small apartments where
they live in common 2 or 3 generations. During the Soviet epoch people could
not buy an apartment, which was given free-of-charge by the state during all
working period (everyone should pay only a maintenance and electric fee). Norms
of granting were very strict: 5-8 square meters for each person!
The family with 2 children of
a different sex could only have an apartment containing approximately 2 rooms
with 30 square meters (kitchen, bathroom and a hall, are not taken into consideration).
A divorced woman with one child could have only a one-room apartment. Today
everyone can buy an apartment and the state certainly does not give an apartment
free-of-charge. The problem is that to buy an apartment it is almost impossible
for the majority of Russians because of their salary (the Russian average monthly
salary is equal to 50 US dollars). To live in small apartments with your parents
and children demands from each member of the family a good amount of compromising
and respect of the family rules, in particular, and life in the community, in
Everyone has his own borders
of patience and tolerance but for Russian women resistance is much more. The
situation in human relations, which will seem to Western European woman intolerable,
will not be the same for Russian woman. If we compare this position to the thermometer,
we could tell, that at the Western womans thermometer is only up to 30
degrees and the Russian womans thermometer is much more than 90 degrees!!
This explains that Russian women operate more easily, than their Western sisters;
with conflicting situations in family life and that American-Russian marriages
are stronger. The Russian woman will not allow her personal attitude to reach
a threshold of irreversibility. It does not mean, that she will give in to you
and you will be always right. She will handle difficulties between you and her
and will reach her purpose peacefully and less complicated: the result is more
important in her eyes than the way of its achievement. And you will not notice
at all, that she already has received what she wanted!
2) Russian women in
general have absence of trust in themselves and are more dependent
on their husbands than the western women: for this they are obliged
to the fact, that for decades they were victims of sexual discrimination
and absence of respect from a man's part: their honor was frequently
ridiculed. Besides, the Russian society does not except women playing
the leading parts in all aspects of life.
3) Russian girls
are more feminine than the Western women: while the western girls
frequently wear the same trousers and t-shirts, as their male friends,
the Russian woman is not afraid to wear high heels on a glaze of ice
or to wear a skirt in cold weather. Russian women are always trying
to take care of their appearance, even if they dont have money.
In the winter they stay elegant, without doubts they wear thin stockings.
For work, Russian women put on the same clothes as American women
put on when they go to a party.
Russian girls are using makeup
much more than American and Western European women. However it is fair to say,
that in Russia, some of the women are using makeup too much and
they look like painted dolls.
4) Russian girls
are more traditional in distribution of roles between sexes, than
young Western women.
For the first time a comparison
was made between young women from Eastern Europe and Western women on this theme
(approximately 2000 women between 13 and 25 y.o. were questioned). The international
questionnaire, which has been created by Anna Stetsenko from Institute of Psychology
of the University in Bern, has shown, that Russian girls have, as the purpose
of their existence, to find a partner and to have children as for young European
girls their career is more important. In Switzerland, both girls, and boys picked
in order of the importance: 1) the partner, 2) career, 3) children and the house.
Meanwhile, and in spite of what some might think, it does not mean that Russian
girls want to be dependent and will be subordinate to her husband.
5) Russian girls reject
the Western feminist model, preferring to reconcile love, family and
successful career. In Europe and the United States womans
magazines always ask: what woman should do to make a
career or to have children? While Russian women (under her obligation),
make well with both these things: they, from generation to generation,
care for their family and work outside the home: the women of Russia
are doctor, drivers of a trolley bus or they work as a police. And
the same time they bring up their children and keep house for their
women can read, write the English language.
women in general have a good level of education and have a school
base of foreign language (frequently English), but have no necessity
to use it in daily life and they do not practice what they were taught.
To read the letter in English takes a lot of time for them and if
they receive a few letters at the same time, we will be not sure that
they will have time to read them all! The letter written in Russian
will be read 100%. The same concerns their answer to you: it will
be necessary for them on the average all day (7 or 8 hours) to write
two page letter!
If you use the translator, be
sure that you dont do a direct translation of your brilliant and smart
letter which being translated into Russian will be hardly clear and will seem
silly. Automatic electronic translation is awful: if you doubt, try to translate
a phrase from English to Russian and then from Russian to English, you will
see what it resembles: nothing.
The same goes with the telephone
conversations: they do not speak English very well, usually, and a phone call
will not serve the purpose for you, it will be only for an exchange of several
words. Also your dialogue will not be rich and you will not find out much about
each other (only your telephone company will be pleased). Therefore we casually
offer services of written and telephone bilingual translation for our clients,
if you wish to establish qualitative dialogue between you and your correspondents
and to avoid catastrophic misunderstanding.
girls are adapting to a new country very fast and easy in the first
months after arrival in USA and do not feel "nostalgia".
the first months Russian girls feel some "nostalgia": they
miss their family and friends, they ask themselves many questions
and cry sometimes. Do not think, that in the beginning of her living
in a good life condition can make her easily forget all that she liked
in her country. To arrive in an unknown country where she does not
know anybody except her husband and it will be impossible to communicate
because of her language barrier, extremely complicates her life and
is a source of stress. She will be absolutely dependent on you (in
the first months) and she will not be self-assured. But she will not
want to go back to her country, because she knows that decision to
marry a foreigner is not an easy choice. And her main purpose is to
create a family and her desire will succeed, it is more than nostalgia
for her country. Our experience has shown, that in general Russian
girls quickly start to speak and understand the English language (on
the average through 5 - 6 months) and become more independent; they
adapt gradually to the new conditions of life and are very happy that
they have created a family
The present psychological transition
between a new family (with you) and her former family (her relatives who have
stayed in Russia) is done in general at the end of the first year: she will
feel in depth of her heart, thus henceforth her family and her present life
are in the USA.